Friday, September 10, 2010

The Beginning of a New Journey

Learning to be happy and physically fit!

      
Learning to be happy and physically fit!

         I must admit this is scary for me, I have embarked upon a journey of fitness before and I have always successful but that was easy for me. I was a high school student, who was actively pursuing running, drill team (dance), hip-hop and jazz dance, and among all of this, I was used to exercising twice per day in order to keep up with my activities and I loved it! Somewhere along the road, I feel off that journey into an abyss and I am not sure why I stopped, in a way, I actually do...
          I let the hurtful words of what other people once said to me place a hold on me and each hurtful word became an anchor to root and ground me into an abyss, I never understand why my mother, grandmother, and great grandmother used to say words have no power, unless you allow them to. So for years I allowed hurtful words to destroy me one by one, day by day, night by night until I looked into the mirror 17 years later and did not recognize the reflection that stared back at me. The girl I used to know was fearless...no fear, no mercy when it came to physical fitness and that girl could jump high without a trampoline. The woman I see today...looks happy but has a lot of sadness she is learning to forgive and learning to let go and let God have it all. The woman today is not as fearless when it comes to physical fitness, but she knows the fearless girl is inside of her waiting to bust out and take her reign back. She is waiting for that fearless girl to come and relieve her of the madness she has created physically. 
          Physical Fitness has been something I used to always take pride in because it was my pleasure, my joy, and my release from the pain that I endured while a teen and adult. As I look into the mirror today, I am sad because running was a release of energy for me, a release that lead to freedom to feel as though I was flying, not running, but yes, flying high as the sky. I could run fast too, yes, running was my favorite physical activity and now, I am ready to actively pursue it and take it back as my love.

           Gone are the words that I once heard as a teen and young adult by my peers, gone are the days that I hoped to run again, and gone are the days of wishing, wanting, waiting, and praying. Today, I must ensure that I am healthy because none will or can do it for me but the woman in the mirror...ME.
So as I quote Michael Jackson..."I am looking at the woman in the mirror, I am asking her to change her ways..." I think of my habits and how they are not healthy...I thought eating once a day would manage my weight, I thought Yo-Yo dieting would manage my weight and I thought Jenny Craig would help me manage my weight but no one told me that in order for the weight to come off and stay off...You need to change your emotional being first and then you may work on the physical being.

          To introduce my journey, I will embark upon a new physical fitness that is a change in exercise, diet, and fitness and it will not be an instant change nor in a year, it took the past 10 years to see this and I know this 10 year old change will not go away instantly, it will gradually and the gradual change is what I wish to prepare and embark upon. So I welcome you to come take this journey with me...

           In conclusion, I say welcome to all of those who I have invited to travel this journey with me, we will embark together upon unchartered waters but with God first, he will make a way for me. I ask that you all be prayerful and support me with positive words and positive love and energy. Please do not leave negative words nor leave any advice, although I know advice is sometimes great to have, but for now I am in the beginning and all I am in need of at this time is positive love and energy. Thank you!


Beautifully Human

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